It’s natural for most parents to come to the defense of their child if the teachers and other students complain about bullying, but denial will never solve the problem. It takes courage to admit that one’s child has problems that need to be addressed before serious injuries are inflicted on the victims.

What can you do as the parent of the bully?

Take Bullying Seriously

Most parents of the bully tend to think that the fights are just normal among children, but you should not brush aside accusations of bullying because these can have long-term effects on your child’s aggression. Perhaps your refusal to recognize problems in your child is the root of the problem itself, and one day you will regret ignoring it because your child will most likely grow up with a lot of problems. Children act differently at home and at school, and perhaps that is why you have never noticed the bullying firsthand.

Talk About It Calmly

You will most likely hear the complaints first from the teacher and other school officials, but before you tell them that it’s their job to watch the children, think about what you should do as a parent instead. Try to understand what is causing the behavior and listen calmly to the school officials about the details of the complaint.

Thank the school officials for alerting you of the problem and assure them and the victim’s parents that you are willing to find solutions to help both the bully and the victim recover from the experience. Remember, your child should be held accountable for the behavior no matter what triggered the incident.

Your Child Needs Help

Research about bullies in Singapore show that most of them have common traits that result from an unhealthy environment at home, such as; inadequate parental supervision or attention; inadequate parental discipline; bullying is a common behavior at home and the child is also a victim of bullying; the child is trying to impress others to gain attention; the child has low self-esteem but wants to be in control; and the child lacks compassion and sympathy for others.

The tricky part when dealing with a strong bully is that they can find ways to justify their actions with their excellent social and verbal skills, but you should also take your time to listen to his/her version. It will help stop the child from lying and will also give you more details about the incident.

That way, you can determine if your child is just trying to minimize the situation or just ignoring the facts presented by the victim. It will be easier to point out problems by letting her/him see from a different perspective by asking about the details. Lastly, make the child acknowledge that his/her behavior has caused harm to others and that he/she should take steps to change that behavior.

As a parent, instill empathy in the child to encourage him/her to think about the impact of his/her words and actions.

If you have teenagers, you know how tough it is to understand their views on things, especially if it isn’t align with yours. One of the important matters to learn as parents is not to assume that we know what our kids think and how they see things as these varies a lot due to hormones, maturity and even just a bad day.

One of the smart ways to avoid freaking out under such circumstances is to consider how your teen is feeling about life in general. To get an idea of how your teen thinks and feels, here are some questions you can ask them. But remember, do not be too serious, and timing is everything. Make this time a fun and casual bonding moment, so your teenager would feel comfortable and be more open with sharing his or her thoughts with you.

1. What do you usually daydream about?
2. What makes you feel happy?
3. What TV show or character makes you laugh the most?
4. If you have your own store, what would you sell?
5. What do you look forward to when you wake up in the morning?
6. What type of music you often listen to?
7. What’s your favorite band or artist?
8. What’s your favorite pastime with your friends?
9. If you can fast forward school and choose any job for yourself, what would it be and why?
10. What house rule you like the least, and why?

11. What memory makes you happy?
12. What puts you in a bad mood or makes you feel angry?
13. What do you wish you can do that you cannot do as of the moment?
14. Do you consider yourself an introvert or extrovert?
15. What do you enjoy doing when you’re alone?
16. What’s your favorite game, and why?
17. What’s the funniest thing you saw online today?
18. What do you think about piercings and tattoos?
19. As your parent, have I ever done anything to embarrass you?
20. What’s your favorite family tradition?

21. What family activities you enjoy the most?
22. How would you describe yourself in three words?
23. Do you know anyone at school who smokes? What do you think about that?
24. Do your friends already date?
25. How about you? Do you feel you’re ready to date?
26. What’s your thought about marriage?
27. Do you think people should get married first before they have sex?
28. Do you consider yourself a good leader?
29. What sports do you love to play?
30. What would be a perfect day for you?

Don’t worry if it seems like your teen isn’t excited initially about answering these question—and don’t rush their answers as well. Let your child take his time. This will show that you are genuinely interested to hear what he’s going to say and not just asking them like an interrogative parent.

Singaporean teens are hooked with online gaming. Online gaming can be addictive and it can destroy your child’s study habits. As a parent, you need to act upon this before your child loses sight of what is important and just live at the moment.

Here are some ways you can encourage studying and discourage gaming:

• Do not begin with the end in mind: Parents are inclined to emphasize the importance of passing the final exam or the diploma. Sometimes, your child simply wants to enjoy the learning process and not just think of the “end game”. It would be more beneficial if you help your child with his/her goal setting.
• Help your child track his/her progress: Students only need to feel accomplished. With this, you need to help your child track his/her progress every day or every week. This way they will feel they can get far.

• Give challenges that are right for their skill level: If the task you are delegating is not challenging, your child will easily get bored but when you give a challenging task, your child tend to give up right away. You have to be in between. When you give a task, make sure that it is right for his/her skill level.

Maybe there are other things that you can do for your child. The important thing here is you are with him/her. Being addicted to online gaming is not easy as it looks like. If you find things difficult, there are many people that you can ask for help. You must know that there are many coaches and counsellors here in Singapore that can help you and your child.

You should take care to your child. This is the main concern of a parent. There is a need to take care of them so that when they grow up, they will not become a criminal. Experts say that when your child is not taught with the proper things there will be a big problem when he grows up.

Taking care of a kid is not an easy task. You will probably need patience and you should love your child no matter what. This love doesn’t only mean that you will always give him what he wants. Sometimes, you need to stop and pause in giving the things he wants.

Kids are not your best friends

Most parents say that their child is the best friend. It’s a wrong connotation because in the first place, he is your child, your son, your daughter and the love of your life. You don’t have to trait him like he is your best friend because, there will come a time that when your child grow, he will just call you a friend and will not listen to you even if how serious and angry you are about what he did. On the other hand, do not forget that it is still your obligation to take care of your child because you are the parent. Once you forget the real meaning of being a guardian, you will also fail to recall that you love your kid.

Parents are given enough time to play with their child. Sometimes, it is not sufficient but there is a need to follow it. Toddlers need to sleep as well as eat. They also need to do their part in order to live. Although they cannot do it on their own, they can act the things they want. Just like crying. When a child cries, the common things that he need is rest and eat. When it comes to playing, children, like adults, feel weary. Therefore, babies also need to stop and pause. By giving them a break, they will feel that they are cared.

Give your Children enough Space

You have to control and limit the activities of your child. Do not let him soak his eyes in the computer or drown himself on his sweat while playing. It is the obligation of the parent to secure the safety of their child. Also, you have to give your kid time to play, time to do his homework and time to go around and shop anything he wants. As your child matures, let him do the things that you are doing to him. Try to teach to him the things that you do to him so that he can do the job and he’ll become independent. Also, it will be an advantage to you because you as a parent because you can do the things that you have to finish on time.

Sometimes it takes the right book to stimulate your kids to read. While they are young, it would be great if they start to love and appreciate books. Being a parent, stimulating your kids to read is a challenge and it can be very difficult but if you know how to pick the right books, things will be easier.

Kids should see that reading is a fun thing to do. If you notice that your kids are not interested in reading, it is time to act. Here are some guidelines that you should consider when picking the right books for your kids:

Below 1

If you want your child below 1 to start getting interested with books, you should choose books that pops up. Babies also love to feel the textures of books. The pop-up and the texture will surely stimulate their senses.

2 years old

If you have a 2 years old child, you should buy him/her books with simple stories and colourful depictions. You can also try rhyming books. Choose books with repetitive sentences so your babies can learn vocabulary and sentence structure.

3 to 4 years old

If you have a 3 to 4 years old child, you can choose books that are more complex. He/she is ready for that. Do not worry because their understanding capabilities have expanded. Pick books that have colours because it will excite him/her.

Kindergarten age

In this stage, you can give your child any book. This age is good because children tend to be curious about language and many things. You can give him/her poetry books, rhyming books and many more. It is better if you let your child pick his/her book.

Many Singaporeans are affluent because they know the value of money. Indeed, money is important in this world. Without it, you will not survive. It is good to teach young Singaporeans the value of money so when they grow up, they will surely understand the importance of money and they will know how to handle it.

As a parent, you are responsible to teach your kid the value of money because schools do not teach this to kids. There are many things that you can do to help your kids realize the value of money.

• Delayed Gratification: Adults understand this but kids can also be taught about this. You have to teach your kids the value of patience. You should tell your kids that if they want something, they have to work hard for it and wait for it.
• Use Jars: You should set aside jars so your kids can save simultaneously. If you want, you can consider piggy banks. You also need to explain that there are things that will take longer to save but at the end of the day, they will surely get it.
• Offer Rewards: The classical conditioning system is effective. You have to offer rewards when your kids start saving money. The reward will serve as a credit. They will draw inspiration from this. For example, you can tell your kids to dine at their favourite restaurant for a job well done.
• Set a Good Example: Your kids need to see that you are the best example. You have to set a good example so they will follow your lead. You should also save and consider delayed gratification. Your kids will surely understand if you are showing them.

Your kids will surely learn how to handle and utilize their financial skills when the time comes. You have to be there and continuously encourage them.